Intuitive painting – Breathe deep, go with the energy


January’s free painting marks the beginning of me getting back into my painting practices.

I used small chunks of time from the end of December to beginning of January to paint. Doing 15 minutes before breakfast or starting my studies, 30 minute blocks on weekends and yesterday I spent two 1 hour sessions on it.

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I used tempera paint in my intuitive painting, a rough shape of a face came first then everything else followed. The prompt ‘Go with the energy’ really helped me relax, let go, be comfortable in blocks where I didn’t have any instant aha moments. Parts of this painting really were a process!

I enjoyed it all, I’m even sort of accidentally combining using my fingers to paint on paper and a brush on the canvas, combining both styles on different surfaces- a block I’m really excited to work through.

This is an intuitive painting so I didn’t have any pre thought up idea, now it is finished I will go over some possible thoughts/themes that were brought forward.

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The middle of the woman’s body has a hand reaching out from a heart, with vines wrapped around her ribs, pulling downwards. This was the first and best ‘I have no idea what this is/means’ and started to feel like I would gross someone out but I painted anyway.

At the time I thought it was to do with my change in career plans, others opinions pulling me down as I am literally following my heart, it still could be. However as I was finishing, a realisation came that I painted this before I started getting upper chest pains. I’m not sure what these pains me, I could be overdoing yoga or it could be something else entirely. Weird huh?

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The large cracking rock/egg with a door on it I think has two possible themes 1. I painted this after watching Being John Malkovich and I painted the portal 2. The person reaching out is my old self/others opinions trying to have me cling onto old ways and ideals. The tall pink lady is having non of it.

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The orange butterflies came to me and I can only think that they mean some sort of ‘release’ and ‘new beginnings’ it’s the first time I’ve used crayon and ink pen on paper like this and I enjoyed accidentally experimenting.

The white head wrap has come through my practice of Kundalini yoga, I wear a white one each morning in meditation, the swirls are I think themed on the ‘snake’ awakenings I’m reading about.

I named this painting Breathe deep, go with the energy as I feel that’s what message the image is bringing forward and the words that assisted me to get there.

Vision boards looking back at 2015 – forward to 2016

I spent the first few days of January filling out My Shining Year Workbook and I bought the business e version, both by Leonie Dawson.

I’ll show my visions for 2016 but first I’ll share my board from last year, this vision board has been on my bathroom wall all year. The middle part I got the idea from the chapter ‘How whole is your whole life?’ in Susan Jeffers book Feel the fear and do it anyway. At the time it affirmed all areas of my life and was a useful reminder throughout the year. Especially the words “I’ll handle it” and “Get into the flow of life”.

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As you can see from the pink circles I did and got a few of the things I’d planned and wanted. We went sea Kayaking in Brighton, saw a film in an open air cinema, got a Gopro video camera, and I got the ikea unit in the picture, it now makes up my creative space!

The sayings ‘Make happiness a habit’ and ‘Your vibe attracts your tribe’ also had an impact on 2015 as I have found more happiness, even just in my attitude there is a difference. I’ve also connected with people who have similar values/interests.

The thing I notice so much about this vision board now is how much it’s focused on things and experiences, sure it’s saying what I want, but what about what I want to feel?

My 2016 vision boards are all about feelings!

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These boards may seem a bit spacious and the reason for that is I stuck a lot of words and images into my workbook! There is nothing better than making something mine then collaging.

The bigger vision board is in my bathroom again, now I’m no feng shui guru but my previous board was above a bin, this one is on the door where I can still see it everyday but it is pleasantly put up away from anything else.

My visions are about moving towards and working on what feels right and right now that is in the direction of Yoga, painting, writing and spirituality. For Brave Creators to thrive in creativity and abundance! Also to have date days/nights and to go on holidays and explore!

“Those who don’t jump will never fly” – Audrey Hepburn

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My smaller board is on my pin board by my computer, I took down my Nov-Dec full moon board and there was a blank space so I filled it.

The visions and messages are more of the same, I wasn’t as interested in pictures than previous years, this time it was all about words! The image of people together as friends symbolises connection and is taken from the book All I did was listen by Rachel Awes.

“I am letting in kindness and people who help me bloom”- Rachel Awes

I’ve taken out a bunch of the pages from her book and put them around the place as reminders for my wonderful creative journey and year ahead.

Here’s to a great new year whoever you are and whatever journey you find yourself on, keep going, reach!

Truth is my name, my word for 2016….

On New Years Day morning 2016, I opened a package I’d been waiting to come from Canada!

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I ordered a ring from Linda Munequita on Etsy, the words inscribed- sat nam.

That’s my word for the year- sat nam!

It has a few meanings most importantly it’s about being your true self and living it- Truth is my identity.

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Sat nam is used as a greeting honouring the truth in self and other person. I use it everyday as I’m stepping into Kundalini yoga.

To me Sat nam simply means living your whole truth- in conversation, creativity – all areas of life.

There is peace, clarity and affirmation in two small delicate but powerful words.

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Remarkable happenings & reaching Mount Snowdon

At the start of the year the Mr was telling me about mountain bothies, how there are remote buildings all around the country for which owners have no use for, so walkers make use of their shelter to get warm or as somewhere to sleep for a night.

I was intrigued about this possibility, especially as a few years back we wild camped and while I loved that experience I also really wanted more comfort and dryness to our experience this time round. I wrote ‘Be mountain bothies and climb Snowdon’ on my 100 things to do in 2016 in my Shining Year Workbook.

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Valentines was coming up and felt like doing something more memorable than giving each other a card and an overly priced last minute present. I mentioned to the Mr the possibility of going to Snowdon, I had a few days off coming up, we had money for petrol and wild camping was free. I arranged cat care for a few days and bought a bag of giant marshmallows.

In the days after the Mr kept messaging me updates of pictures of Snowdon on Twitter and Instagram and the temperatures. It was hard to believe there could be so much snow and freezing temperatures. Wild camping was off the cards.
Camping was to be our very last option, through an evening of researching campsites I came across Snowdon Inn bunkhouse for just £35 a night and booked it!

The quirky tiny house for two was perfect for our short stay; we roasted marshmallows on the fire, had cooking equipment, a table to eat at and a warm cosy bed. I am grateful for so much that was in such a small place, I’d advise booking two nights as somewhere to come back to after the trip.

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I realised while getting our kit together my walking boots where nowhere to be found, I’m a bigger size shoe than anyone in my family so I reached out to a friend who said she had a pair in her garage we could look through, I didn’t order any and took a chance on that. When the time came to looking for them, I prepared myself for a morning of clambering over items to get some old boots, when in fact they were right there at the front of the garage! They turned out to be the best boots I could have ever borrowed!

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Two days before our trip we kept seeing more and more pictures of snowy Snowdon and notes that crampons and ice axes were essential for our trip and paid for the last minute expensive items, even though it was supposed to be a low budget trip. As it turns out the £10 crampons were completely useless, holding clumps of snow to our boots and mine fell off while walking. Though if we hadn’t of got crampons we wouldn’t have bothered with £60 ice axes which, for this trip were ESSENTIAL, we used them throughout and we couldn’t of done the trek without them!

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We had planned to drive early morning Tuesday to get to Wales around midday and trek that same day, then check in afterwards having accomplished our goal of getting to Mount Snowdon. The morning we were due to leave the Mr decided to turn our plan on it’s head to arrive there and stay a night then do the trek the day after feeling fresh, technically both plans would work so we agreed and went with the new plan.

This way the drive happened to be the most scenic and at times scary because of the drop below but was beautiful in the daylight. Also the Mr had read that Tuesday would be freezing rain at the bottom and 60-80 mph wind at the top whereas Wednesday forecasted 20-30 mph wind and heavy snow. Taking a short walk down the Rhyd Ddu path from the carpark on Tuesday we experienced the heavy winds, being blown to one side. Whereas the following day nearing the top of the summit on the Wednesday I felt no wind, we trenched through thick snow, used our ice axes to climb to the top and slid down the snow some of the way down! It was a climb but it was FUN!

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The last stretch before the summit was the hardest, walking through thick snow across a narrow ridge, then upwards using my ice axe to grip and pull myself upwards and hearing a reservoir but not seeing it though poor visibility made the experience magical. It was on the trek up, feeling hot with my many layers, tired from climbing with the thought ‘keep going’ ‘keep at a good pace, no stopping’ going through my mind that the Mr said ‘It’s here! We’ve reached the top.’ Reaching the top is an incredible experience it is so quiet and still, also because of the season we went we were the only ones there.

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Tucking into my Trek bar at the top tasted amazing after such a long time walking with breaks for nuts and jelly babies. I stood in the cubby hole under the icicles while the Mr took photos, I opened up my new Rumi book Whispers of the beloved and read:

‘Deafened by the voice of desire
you are unaware the Beloved
lives in the core of your heart.
Stop the noise,
and you will hear His voice
in the silence.’ -Rumi

 

Starting out this shining new year 2016

wrkbk1I bought myself two great presents while Christmas shopping in December:

1) Assertiveness for Earth Angels by Doreen Virtue I finished this morning and it is fabulous, I’ll be writing some notes on that later for sure!

2.) Leonie Dawson’s Shining Year Life Workbook, Diary and Calendar (I also bought the business workbook pdf later).

I started filling out my beautiful workbook in the lead up to the holidays and Christmas day we had a day of lounging around and I collaged! SO MUCH FUN :)
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These products are AMAZING! Already they are transforming my attitude towards this new year, I’m getting more done and moving in a new direction towards what I really want.

Things I love about the workbook – you reflect honestly about your trials and triumphs from the past year, dream small and dream big, there is tons of writing space, the pages are so colourful and I can add stuff in altering it as much as I want!

I’m really enjoying using the Shining year diary too and calendar, through getting more on track I’ve organised myself blogging and notes folders, I’ll post those separately.

Another thing I’m really getting into is the Life book groups on Facebook. I’m telling you this year is about connection! I can almost here the whispers of a creative tribe forming.

I’ve nominated myself to host an online meet up each month, something I almost did a while back (got nervous) and this time I’m going to see it through. Links will be up soon!

Enjoy the pages, grab your own at Leonie Dawson’s shop.

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The dates changed but I did go away on Kundalini weekend!

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I did some of these, list here.

 

Top 4 Lessons I learnt in 2014

Isn’t it funny how, when you ask yourself to look back at the year that’s past you think of it briefly overall and then focus in on the last few months where you think you learnt the most.

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The end of this year has marked some key moments of change, here are my top four:

1. Changing my hours at a job I loathed helped a little, leaving it feeling happy helped too, as when I let go I really let go. No grudges just goodbyes.

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I remember the exact moment I realised I was in control of changing things for the better. I was getting changed one day in October after my shift into my leggings and hi vis jacket, ready for the cycle home, thinking about how I could follow my original plan of looking for jobs and attending interviews that December. But as I thought more it dawned on me, I could start my whole process a lot quicker if I let go of what would be thought of me by the managers, that I’d only changed my hours a few months (after all I did work 8am-6pm for three years there) and start looking and applying right then in October.

Why wait? Those two words were like a bridge from horrible to hooray and they worked.

2. I don’t know that my frame of mind would have ever gone from down and out to ‘getting it’ without Who moved my cheese by Dr. Spencer Johnson.

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Good news can sometimes translate to bad along with wake up call and that brilliant little book helped me get hold of the fact your not in control of anyones life around you, only you and that things don’t always happen in the order you assume they will. Though sometimes I think I’ve never day dreamed about being an Auntie, just a mom and I feel guilt and annoyance at my ambitious goals that will alter any chance of family life for now, I have to be glad for the gifts God* gives, we’re all following our own North Star in our own ways.

*God being a lose term for a higher power whether it be GOD, infinite, Universe and so on.

3. Another major change (that from the outside looks minor) falls under the category of clothing.

The last few weeks of leav20144ing everyday at my old job on my bicycle I would ride down the road and see women walk to pick their children up from school. Now this is a nice area so please have in your mind that these women made an effort to dress the same for just a simple walk.

That is what I noticed, how well put together they were, of course these are only clothes I don’t know if they were actually happy or not but still it made me think, what steps could I do to actually feel body confident in my own clothes, to wake up and actually choose an outfit I liked?

This may sound mad to anyone who has done just that for years, but it dawned on me the reason that felt so alien to me was that in my survival state I had all year, put on black trousers and a black top as ‘painting clothes’ and also spent any left over money on paints. This wasn’t all bad because it meant that I could paint whenever and get as messy as I liked, painting is something I’m good at and always learning more about, I also needed that experience to cope with all the crap life brought.

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As life was getting better, I noticed other peoples clothes more and hatched a plan to feel happier in what I was clothed in. It turned out to be very simple: I moved Summer clothes out-got rid of a bunch of his clothes and mine- I made space to be able to walk to my draws and I labeled each one too. I also bought some more clothes (though still not enough) and made more room in draws for new work clothes as it is non uniform.

Doing it like this I have actually regained a sense of choice, a choice of what to buy and what to wear. I think it’s easily taken for granted that choice is a major part of life, I spent years thinking I had none, when it was here all along, again it came to me when I was happier. I reached my goal of going up to my draws and picking out an outfit to wear.

4. My last major change is ongoing and as amazing as it is I also feel I’ve gone against words I wrote in poem This is how I learn and I like it this way. In it I talk about about how annoying it is when people encourage me to do art courses I don’t want to do because I’m quote ‘outsider and abstract only’. However this is part of a bigger goal, Art Therapy and if I can’t get around doing an Art Degree then I’ll do the damn Art Degree! So I’m studying with OCA in order to earn and learn and even writing about it reminds me I need to do a lot more work!

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In conclusion of my year in review, my main points of focus have been; letting go, being myself more, diving into acceptance, acknowledging limited thinking, going for big goals and not to fear uncertainty so much. I’m still learning.

There is still so much more to life, to learn.